A NEW BEGINNING WITH THE PEOPLE AT WORK

© Rhoberta Shaler, PhD

There's a big opportunity here! The holidays bring a change in spirit in most folks. Even though they may be more tired than usual from all the demands of the season, they are filled with holiday cheer. Key time to heal relationships at work!

Do something nice for those you work with. Sounds simple, enough, but you may have some resistance to the idea. Perhaps it seems like a phony or superficial thing to do. On one level, maybe, on another more important level, it is simply wise. They are going to be there after the holidays, too!

Use this time for new beginnings. Demonstrate your willingness to improve your working relationship. Go first. Give first. This is a time-honored tradition that really works. Step out of your 'He/she done me wrong' mode. Un-Grinch and give.

The simple act of surprising someone with chocolate, flowers or a gift certificate for a cappuccino can make a huge difference. Think about it. How would you feel if you were on the receiving end unexpectedly?

Sure, there are a few folks who would grumble, "What's this about? You expect me to forget the past year?" or who are suspicious of your motives. Truth is, most folks want the problems to go away, too. When you give first, you are saying that you think there is hope. Maybe we could do something about this.

If this is too Pollyanna sounding for you, consider the alternatives. If you don't do it, the holidays will be over and nothing will have changed. At least, by taking a step to improve the relationship, you'll know you've held out the olive branch and said, "I'm human over here."

Remember what Malachy McCourt said: 'Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die." Why would you want to do that? It is only you that suffers.

If you are having trouble with someone at work, think of them as the driver who purposefully cuts you off on the highway. You can be yelling and cursing them in your car, but they are hearing nothing! You are the only one who is agitated, red-faced and screaming. Why do that to yourself?

How is resentment working for you? Decide how you want to feel, what state you want to live in, what thoughts you want to dwell on. Act accordingly. Sure, it's not going to make the other person stop gossiping, doing sloppy work or failing to meet deadlines, but, it will make you feel better. You do create your internal environment.

Take this opportunity to change your workplace relationships. Works at home, too. A pleasant surprise can make a big difference at any time of year! Welcome folks back with a treat.