Balance - it's all in your control.

To succeed, one must possess an effective combination of ability, ambition, courage, drive, hard work, integrity and loyalty. - Harry F. Banks

Some days just getting out of bed, or putting one foot in front of the other, are major achievements, aren't they?

Other days, it's as if time were expanded.

Do you know what makes the difference?

For many people, life is moving so quickly that the time to learn about themselves is eroded.

Snatch your life back from the 'busy-ness' monster.

(Need some help with that? Take Dr. Shaler's seminar - Never Mistake Activity For Progress)

It's time to remember that you are in charge of your choices. You decide how you fill your time...or if you answer that telephone. Therefore, you decide how tired or energetic you will be. Of course, there are things that take that decision out of your hands. Chronic or acute illness, a broken ankle or unbalanced metabolism can certainly change that equation. Loss of a love, a loved one or a job also can put you on the sidelines temporarily.

Stop, look and listen. Stop for a while. Look at your last seventy-two hours and ask yourself if how you spent it is all right with you. Listen to your body. Ask it if it is feeling taken care of, looked after, and cherished. Find out what it needs right now and make a plan to take care of it.

Spend no time being hard on yourself. Proceed in the direction of your goals. Make choices that honor your goals, your health and your sense of well-being.

Steps for Taking Back Your Life

Take a weekend just for yourself. Wear only comfortable clothes. Turn off the computer, the phone, the cell phone. Have a brand new journal and pen ready. This is your time.

Spend the first twelve hours sleeping because most folks are chronically over-tired yet another symptom of our 'be-everything, do-everything, have-everything myth'. When you wake up, luxuriate in the knowledge that this time is just for you. Nowhere to go, no one to please, nothing that has to be done. When is the last time you could say that? Notice that, too.

Eat good food that nourishes your body, eyes and soul. Eat leisurely and just eat. Don't think about anything except enjoying the food, your surroundings and the leisure. Then, relax. Sleep if you need to.

When your body and mind have rested, take whatever time you need to fully consider these three questions and write your answers your new journal:

A. WHAT IS MOST IMPORTANT, MOST VALUABLE AND MOST SIGNIFICANT TO ME IN LIFE?

These may be character traits, relationships, habits, aspirations, events and possessions. There are no right answers, only YOUR answers. Do not evaluate your list on the basis of what others may think. Start with a clean page. The first change in your thinking will be to find only the things that honestly reflect what YOU value. No 'shoulds, ought-tos, or musts'. Not what anyone has told you is right. Just what is important to you.

B. IF I BASED MY LIFE CHOICES SQUARELY ON MY ANSWERS ABOVE, HOW WOULD I SPEND MY TIME, MY ENERGY AND MY MONEY?

One good way of developing this answer is to create an ideal week for yourself. As you do that, beware of the 'should' gremlins looking over your shoulder. It is your week in your life. Your responsibility is to have it reflect what you say you value. Notice what fits and what does not fit. You may have to prioritize. Stick with the project until you have a week that is so appealing you can hardly wait to begin.

OK, let's stop for a reality check. Have you designed a week's vacation or a week that truly reflects what you want your life to be all about? Your optimal design will be for a week that you could repeat forever, one that you would feel very good about in every way.

C. WHAT ARE THE FIRST FIVE THINGS YOU CAN DO TO BEGIN MATCHING YOUR CURRENT LIFE WITH YOUR IDEAL LIFE?

Take this in small steps. In fact, take it in what I call TTDC's, Teeny, Tiny, DoAble Chunks. Choose five small things you can accomplish or change this week.

Whether you are changing your physical surroundings, your relationship, your attitude or your behavior, start small. Celebrate often. Progress is cumulative. Just keep going forward.

Stop regularly to review your progress, re-commit to your values, and choose the next five things to do. Once this becomes a habit, you're on your way to your ideal life. You are on your way to being 'retired'!

When does work become play? HOW do you get the balance back? Read here...

© Optimize! Institute & Rhoberta Shaler, PhD. All rights reserved.